Creative Writing: Our Choices for 'The Second Choice" by Th.Dreiser

A few weeks ago we read a short story "Second Choice" by Theodore Dreiser which stirred quite a discussion in class. So, the students were offered to look at the situation from a different perspective and to write secret diaries of some characters (the author presented them as somewhat flat). Below you can find apocryphal notes from the secret journal of Arthur, Barton, Shirley's friends and parents.

Summary: Shirley, the central character, has just received a farewell letter from a young man, Arthur Bristow, whom she had been seeing for several months. He had flirted with her and flattered her, and she had idealized him, telling herself "everything which was worth happening in love had happened" with Arthur. After some soul-searching, she settles for Barton, who dotted on her and who could provide her with a decent future. The only thing is that she doesn't love him and knows what life with Barton will have in store for her. She realizes that it will be routine that she saw as the same dull neighborhood, with women making the same breakfast every morning, and the men sitting on porches in the evenings, reading the newspapers in the same, expected, dreary way.

Whose diaries do you find the most impressive and why? Who, in your opinion, managed to create a totally new approach to the whole situation described by Dreiser?

THE SECRET DIARY OF ARTHUR BRISTOW

13 November
Yesterday, I met a wonderful girl – Shirley, Shirl I’d like her to call. Mabel said she was half-engaged to a Barton Williams (who’s that?!), but for me it doesn’t matter. I want her and that’s all I know. She seemed to be charmed by my boldness. Don’t think it will be a problem to win her heart. Anyway, she’s nice and quite satisfactory to pass some time with. And damn Barton Williams!!!

25 December
Shirley seems to suit me. She is terribly boring, though. All her life is shuttling to and fro her work and her house (pouff!). Maybe that’s why she considers me the Providence that brought some new breath to her stuffy life? Ha-ha, she looks at me like a dog at its master. Sometimes a thought comes to my mind that if I told her to abandon her parent’s house and become a prostitute she would so… Only because I told her to do it. Or, maybe she wouldn’t – in spite of all her affection for me, she is too much concerned about her future. Humpf, I should give it a thought…

27 December
I thought over Shirl’s concern about the future and the recent conversation with her proved what I was worrying about – she sees no future for herself than marriage to some nice guy (ME???).

4 January
After being bewildered for a while by Shirl’s intensions from me, now, I’m absolutely easy about us. Mabel told me, she is still continuing her relations with this Barton. As Mabel sees him, he’s an ideal match for Shirley – he’s as doggedly in love with her as she is with me. So, my plan is to keep her beside me as long as it pleases me and then – push her in the open arms of that namby-pamby Barton!

16 March
Yesterday, Shirl told me a very interesting thing. She was dreaming about going to some unknown country to start a new life – no mind-numbingly boring work, no bothering parents, no anything from the present life! It was quite a surprise for me to listen to her talking such things. She also said she regrets not becoming an actress, admired by hundreds of men and envied by hundreds of women. Funny she! It’s the “adventure bug” she caught going out with me, eh? Or it’s just a masquerade on her part to disguise her own flatness? Mm…

23 June
I don’t know what’s going on with me. All this time I was just too afraid to go deeper in my soul to face my own affection for Shirley. I think about her every second as I breathe. I never thought love would be like that, especially for me – who has never been really in love. What should I do? Marriage?! What a strong word! But what else? What else…? I need to meet her.

5 July
She is so amazingly beautiful, my dear Shirley (I hope, she doesn’t know what tenderness towards her I feel). Sometimes, when we are together, I feel as if I was reborn. But it’s something not for Shirl’s knowledge. At moments, it seems to me I don’t even know myself. Or, what I know is too disgusting to believe in. I can’t marry her!!! Simply because this will bring end to my freedom. She wants to make a family, to have children. I can’t offer her any of these things. I’m too selfish, maybe, but that’s what I really am.

11 July
Hey boy, where’s my old Arthur? Come on, that’s enough! It’s time to do away with this crazy affection. Otherwise, you’ll become the same with this sentimental Barton Williams (Oh, Jesus!).

27 September
I still love her but I try to be more and more apart to make her understand that soon everything will be over. It was my decision. Very difficult indeed. Why did I decide so? - I’m not the one who would appreciate the of life she’s used to. And one day, my dreams will lead us in the middle of nowhere – no stability, which is too risky for her, I can’t admit it. What I can give her is not what she deserves, too little my forces are. The best thing is to quit. Right now. She will be sad for a couple of weeks but then she’ll find comfort in her old good Barton, and they will live happily ever after.

28 September
I’ve met a pretty girl, Miranda her name is. She’s silly but with a handsome face, just right for me to get over Shirley. At least, for some time.
It’s time to say the last goodbye to my dear Shirl, the only true love of my life. I hate myself, but she’ll never learn what feelings she has awaken in my damned soul. Sorry, sweetheart, I don’t merit you. And it’s better for you to consider me a wretch. Sorry, love…

Retrieved by Anna Karpova
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May (year 1st)
It feels so wrong... Absolutely excruciating. The very thought of that everything had ended and goes on inertially, ruined my sleep completely. I spent the whole night looking out of the window, trying to find at least one shining star in the sky, but I failed to find any.
Sometimes I think of myself as a monstrous cretin, or a perfect arrogant fool, so useless and abject, being unable to have true feelings.
She loves me so tenderly and selflessly that I cry when I recall it. As if her eyes start sparkling when she sees me - I can feel it! - and she becomes happy. Really happy, just because of being with me. How weak and pathetic I am not to be able to give her the same. I can only write her letters expressing my false love.
It's no use asking God who is wrong and who is right in this world as he will never answer. But it's better to taste the bitter truth rather than fool oneself, believing in something that never existed.
I shall continue my journey without her. Probably, she won't be able to recover for long if I tell her, so I'd better leave her and pretend I'm missing. As if I was killed somewhere. Or I drowned. Or whatever could happen in this unreasonable world.

September (year 1st)
My anxiety is gradually fading away. Probably, Shirley has already forgotten about me. But how am I supposed to free myself of that burden in my heart? I have sinned and need to be punished by Heaven. I feel that the day of retrubution is going to come so soon...

October (year 1st)
Now I know what true love is. I thought that I am not among those who deserve to fall in love with somebody one day, but it finally happened. I can't find the words to say how glad and devastated I am at once.
But now I fully realize what I've done to Shirley. I am even more disgusting than I thought. It's horrible... absolutely horrible.

November (year 1st)
Today Annie said she loved me too. It's impossible to fancy. I'm ineffably free, floating in the morning orange sky with you. You're so special that I can't resist you. You're superior. I fail to describe how you look – you are so bright that I can't even imagine your face – just your shining azure eyes, full of love, faith and understanding, spark inside my head. I feel so worthless in front of you. Thank you for being so kind to me. I'm happy, crying all the night. Whatever happens, I will never forget you.

December (year 1st)
If there ever was a poet or a writer who really managed to describe this feeling, I would hardly believe it. In these best moments of your life it's impossible to write anything. You just sense how happy you are and wish the days could stop slipping by, so that both of you keep each other suspended in time.
I'll stop here, my beloved is waiting for me. But I feel a bit uneasy... I don't deserve the love of such an ideal woman.

January (year 2nd)
Today might be the beginning of the end. Annie suddenly started crying when we were holding each other's hands, and then said she was unsure if she really loved me. She asked me to give her some time to think it over. I guess this must be the punishment which I've been waiting for. It's unreal to think of something more agonizing.

(added later, the same day)
She was crying all the time I was with her. It is inconceivable for me to understand how she feels, but deep inside, in the heart of hearts, I'm being annihilated by my own destroying thoughts.

February (year 2nd)
She seems even more confused now. She was crying again when I came to her.
Annie, sweetie, you know how I love you. But if you feel like leaving, I am not the one who will force you to stay with me. You've taught me what it means to be free.

March (year 2nd)
Early morning.
I'm standing on a wooden bridge above a small river with an unknown name. Dear Annie, how thoughtful of you it was to give me some time to realize that you need to go. I can almost see your face now, and your silhouette, dressed in white, standing somewhere between the horizon and the sun.
You've given me happiness worth of a lifetime. I can say I am a real man now. I am constantly pushing my limits to become at least half as bright as you. But now you are far away... And suffering makes me stronger.

As I look around, I notice the arrival of Spring. It is getting warmer, the snow is melting, and, surrounded by newborn grass, the snowdrops have appeared. Boundless greenish space... I can feel the light breeze on my cheeks.
The voice of freedom, aren't you? You can go away now.
Looking at all that happy little universe around me made me suffer even more. How perfect the world is as a whole, and how worthless I am as its part.
The birds are flying beneath the azure sky which reminds me so much of your eyes, the sound of gushing water, the flowers all around...
How meaningless it has become for me without you.

Retrieved by George Buntilov
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BARTON'S SECRET JOURNAL

September 11
Oh, what a day I have had! It started out as miserable, with gray raindrops trickling down my collar (how I detest that feeling!) and my breakfast, warm, luscious-smelling, carefully packed by Gramps left on the kitchen table. To top it all off, work seemed perfectly annoying, with the dispatcher a rumbling thunder-cloud, sending me running around doing errands for him, and sullen, churlish customers. Most disagreeable, indeed. But as supper-time was approaching, She appeared at the telegraph-window, oh! My celestial light, my sweetest maiden endowed me with the honor to behold her godlike face, to gaze into her starlike eyes and to hear her spill precious words from her honey - like lips. She smiled at me and greeted me ever so cheerfully, the twinkling of her voice scattering along the train-platform and coming back stronger, ringing in my ears, making me dizzy (perhaps a case of nausea from malnutrition had something to do with that, too). We made some small talk and then I gathered my courage (oh, will I ever overcome my shyness in her presence?) and asked her for a date – at the pictures. Shirley smiled her entrancing smile again and brought quite a sweat to my brow by holding a pause – and then agreed. Of course. It’s still a trifle hard sometimes to accept that she is mine. But I almost believe in it now, just almost.
Supper was divine, Gramps outdid herself. I’m in good sorts now; perhaps I’ll head off to Charlie’s Bar with the boys. Got to keep up the socializing, chuckle chuckle.
Well, diary, old chap, see you later.

September 15
Today was the day I took Shirley to the pictures. It started out great – I got a tad nervous while trying to coordinate my tie and shirt at home, but I sent the lady in fits of laughter with a stack of puns. I helped her into the car ever so gallantly and treated her to an ice and coffee before heading off to see the movie. Soon enough I sensed a hint of feverishness and absentmindedness in the way she talked – her mind wandered off in the middle of my hilarious story about a clerk in my office – but she said she was sorry in such a sweet way that I let go of my doubts. All in all, I’m sure I did show her a great time after all. Though – it seemed to me she was a little too hasty to kiss me goodbye, but Shirley’s such a little hothead at times. Ah, my girl.
I’m swooning happy right now, and I don’t even feel like having dinner (it’s steak and potatoes night today). But proper nutrition is the key to success in business and energy-inducing matters, like being in love.

October 12
Evening diary, my pal… I need to share with someone my feeling of utter devastation. I’m dumbstruck by the way my star of heavens has been treating me lately. She has turned down dozens of dates, laughs absent-mindedly when I am not telling jokes and generally behaves in a peculiar, childish way. Her beauty is blooming now – brighter than life itself, rosy cheeks and glittering eyes and dreamy lips – but oh, now they escape me! They avoid me! Why does she keep me in suspense? In the dark? How much longer will it be before my sun turns back to shine on me again?
Oh Shirley! Do heal my ripping heart!

October 20
The efforts I’ve been putting into work have paid off – I am getting an increase in my monthly income. I feel proud and very pleased with myself and the scrumptious pancake-dinner Gramps cooked for me to celebrate my small success. But one thought still darkens my brow – where is my enigmatic beloved? I called her house today, and it was not her silvery voice that answered but her father’s. He said she was out – oh! Where could she be? O despair!

(…)

November 27
Who could have ever thought that angel, the fairest maiden that walks this sinful earth to be capable of lying? To me - the one who cherishes every breath she takes and every furrowing of her brows? She made a date with me – I fled, carried by the divine wings of true emotion and landed on her porch in half an hour, trembling in excitement. What a shock was I to experience! Shirley, who had faithfully promised to spend a cozy evening with me – had gone out! With a pesky admirer, I believe. Am I of no value to her after all? Isn’t my heart good enough to play with? Ah Shirley! Ah humanity!

December 30
Merry belated Christmas, diary buddy! Now that the festivities are over, I am beginning to get a tad lonely – work has let out, and now I have time on my hands – and no-one to squander it on. I had met a pretty girl, Leslie, at the annual Christmas Postal Workers` Ball – danced with her a couple of times, but she appears to be so dull in comparison to Shirley! I know – I have resolved to forget her – to give her space and time for thought. She probably lied to me for fear of hurting my feelings, the confused little thing. I shall not get in her way any more – but her ghost is close to me – it will be so for an eternity, I fear. Crawl back in your rotten soul-hole, pain.

February 18
Heavens! Stars! Lights of yore! She has descended back, I believe. Oh yes – I do believe! I prayed soundlessly as I sat to eat supper this evening – a tear or two even making their way into my watercress salad, bitter by itself (I have begun dieting). Shirley – yes, it really was her – came to send a telegraph at my office today! She smiled and talked to me kindly, looking beautiful as ever – eyes tender, frail and gloriously aglitter. She spoke softly – I sensed that she was pleased to see me – and a little sad. Perhaps she resents hurting me! Perhaps she wants to be at my side! She accepted a date – I am taking her to the Postal Workers` Corporate Dance. She said she hadn’t seen the guys – our friends, yes, our – for what seemed like ages. She looked like she was anxious to go – could that be true? She was so coy – and then she trembled and her eyes sparkled furiously – her feelings must have been so overwhelming – she even forgot to write the telegraph. Precious angelic girl, I’m going lengths to make you mine.
Oh joy!

Retrieved by Julia Maltseva

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Dear diary,
Let me share with you my happiness! I think I’m the luckiest man on this planet.
Oh, Shirley, my lovely girl! You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen in my life! You’ve got everything to be the perfect one! You’re nice, you’re kind, you’re attractive! And we’re so happy together! And we will, we will certainly be happy till the end of our days! I’ll do everything to make you happy! I promise I’ll be the best husband! Dear diary, I desire my lovely Shir not to change her mind… she won’t…she certainly loves me… She allowed to half assume that she would be my wife! Shirley Williams. It sounds so pleasant!...

Today’s Thanksgiving eve… I won’t be able to spend it with my dear Shirley.. too busy at work… I’m so exhausted here. Sometimes I even think that I live here, in the Great Eastern terminal. Of course I would rather spend this eve with my love, but I know I have to work. Or Shirley won’t marry me! I promised her by the time she becomes my spouse I will have bought a little cottage for us…so I have to work
Hope she won’t miss me. She told me that Mabel Gove had asked her to come over to her house in Westleigh. Shir sounded rather strange…Oh, damn these thoughts! She just misses me, that’s all. I have to concentrate on my work.

Yesterday I felt something strange. Shirley's behavior was unusual. I thought she didn’t like that I couldn’t spend an eve with her, but … I don’t know…something mysterious appeared in her eyes after this evening, something that I don’t like…

Shir’s behaviour horrifies me! Doesn’t she love me anymore?... But why? What’s wrong? I often buy her flowers and candies, I calling on her and take her to many places…
Of course, I do work much, but it is all for her! For our happy future! Should I give her more attention? Won’t I be too annoying?

Dear diary,
I’m lost in my thoughts…My Shirley…My lovely Shir…Every second I am waiting long and patiently for each little favor from her side, but nothing…it is all so hard to take in mind but… Yes!, I think she has a new fellow she doesn’t want to tell me about…It’s so hard, it’s so hard!

I had been waiting for this talk for a long time. Finally we quarreled.
I stopped by the store to see her, as she had told me that I might come Wednesday. I was so excited!!!
I came to her place, but she wasn’t in. I’ve been sitting with her parents until ten thirty, and then, a few days later, although she had written to me to apologize, I called on her at the store to complain, because I couldn’t bear this anymore! I’m not a little boy to be treated like that! To wait for her for so long when she’s walking somewhere with some fellow!? No! I asked her about him! And what did she answer?! Do I desire this?! “I don’t belong to you, do I?” I love you Shirley, but if you don’t want me anymore – it’s your decision! I appreciate you and that’s your choice… Oh, Shirley, Shirley, my lovely girl!...

Dear diary,
It’s been almost a week since I last wrote in here. I am living my life without Shirley, I am trying to get used to it, but every minute I catch myself thinking about her. I could give her everything she deserved. I wish I could see her new fellow… Why did she choose him? Hope he’s the one she deserves…

Dear diary,
Lately I’ve made my mind to start to live a new life. Of course, it is a hard decision for me, but I realize that all the thoughts of Shirley are shattering my future into pieces. I will try to forget her. I will burn all the things that remind me of her, including you, my diary. But I think still she will stay in my heart like a single sun-ray in my dark routine life.

Retrieved by Arina Kozhukhar
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•I’m Barton Williams. I am starting my diary today, because some time ago I really fell in love with a gorgeous and cute girl. Her name is Shirley. I want to write down my feelings and some events hereto remember them for a long time.

•I’m the happiest person in the world - I love Shirley so much that I’d like to marry her and I feel that we are made for each other and I have guess-work that she’ll marry me some day and all my dreams will come true.

•Unfortunately, I should recognize that now we meet not so often as before, I even don’t understand the reason. I remember all the time how we were going to the theatre, were walking along the river and talking to each other about everything. But I don’t worry. I know that everything will be ok and we will be happy.

•Contrary to my expectations, we finally quarreled with Shirley. We had decided to meet up, but then she postponed our meeting for another day and disappeared. I went to the house and sat with her parents until ten-thirty but she didn’t come. She even didn’t send a word. I wanted to solve this problem because I understood that it wasn’t a misunderstanding - she had somebody else. I realized that practically everything that Shirley told me was an outrageous lie, but I don’t want to believe it. Why? Why? I was so kind to her, attentive and patient. I did everything that she wanted, brought her candies, flowers, everything… What’s wrong with me? Maybe I have no luck…

•I’m working a lot these days and I expect to see Shirley, but it seems to me that she's vanished without a trace. I even went to the old card-parties where we used to meet and have a good time, but she wasn’t there. I hope I’ll see her one day, I really like her and I’ll open my heart to her one more time.

•It’s a miracle that she came to the station and soon I guessed that she had come to see me and not just to send a telegram. I was really upset when she told me that she had been using the other door to arrive at the station or to get on the Langdon Avenue car. It was clear that she wanted to avoid me. Before, as I remember, she made time to stop or meet me occasionally, but since then a lot has changed.
This sudden situation and our conversation reminded me of our adventures, how we were going to the theatre. And suddenly I felt that she noticed what I was thinking about and I was a little bit confused.
She is so beautiful, even prettier than before, and I tried to do something not to let her go. It was my last chance and I invited her to the theatre. She said «no» and my heart sank. Luckily, she invited me to come to her house. I did my best to win her sympathy back and, to my mind, I've succeeded in that.
Is it possible that she would like to turn over a new leaf with me? That we’ll get married eventually? I’ll be the happiest person in the world and I’ll be able to achieve our dreams and to make Shirley the best wife in the world.

Retrieved by Anna Matveecheva
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Entry 1.
I think it’s time to start a diary to write about my feelings. The best period of my life has finally come. I’m in love with the girl of my dream… what else can one desire? I have already met her parents. If everything goes fine between the two of us, I’ll marry her, because I know if I don’t, I will be unhappy till the end of my days. Many people are looking for love and long for being loved. And I’m very lucky I've met Shirley. God has helped me.

Entry 2.
Probably, there’s a spell on this diary. As soon as I started it, everything went wrong. We’ve fallen apart. I’m the most miserable man in the world! Why did she act like this? Was it my mistake? Was it my fault that she lost interest in me? Or was it because of that fellow she preferred not to talk about? She should have warned me in advance if she wasn’t going to come! I suppose it’s more likely that the cause of that was that fellow… Anyway, my heart is broken. But… what if it’s not the end of our relationship? What if it’s just a turning point? No, no… who am I trying to deceive, it’s all over. I’m all alone at the railway station, it seems as if she was trying to avoid this place. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, as somebody said, maybe that’s the point here. She didn’t kill me, that’s why she made me stronger. That must be just a lesson for me. Yes, it may be a big mistake, but if she comes back to me, that would be great.

Entry 3.
Today I was given a chance. And I didn’t miss it! I have a date on Sunday! She is even prettier than before! Strange, but I’m again in love with her! After so much time I had spent thinking what a miserable man I was, she just came to the station where I work and agreed to go out with me. However, something tells me that something is wrong here. Why did she come back? Does she really love me, or did she do it because of shrewdness? I don’t really know what to think about it… It happened so suddenly. But my heart tells me to go for it and be happy again. I really love her, I love her with all my heart and she seems to love me, too! Now I’m convinced that she loves me! That’s my only chance to be happy in this life. I can be happy only with her and no one else in this world. It would be silly of me to think otherwise. I hope everything will go fine and I’ll be lucky enough to become her husband.

Retrieved by Alex Fillipov
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Dear Diary,
I must confess to you that I’ve fallen in love. The girl of my dreams is named Shirley, and she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. I’ve never felt such feelings for anyone else before.

***
Dear Diary,
Shirley is being very nice to me and She’s making me the happiest man in the world. I think that not only am I in love with her, but I love her. I feel we are made for each other and I’d like to marry her. I hope that my dreams will come true one day.

***
Dear diary,
Unfortunately something is going wrong in my relationship with Shirley. We don’ meet as often as we used to, and I don’t understand the reason. I miss the times when we were going out together often. Now it’s so different. I wonder what I’ve done wrong. I hope that soon everything will be the way it used to be, so I try not to worry too much.

***
Dear diary,
An unbelievable thing happened yesterday. Seems like Shirley doesn’t like me anymore. We had arranged to meet, but then she postponed our date, and I’ve heard nothing from her since then. I went over to her place and spent the whole evening with her parents, waiting for her to turn up. But by 10:30 she hadn’t arrived yet, and I already had to leave. I realized that it wasn’t merely a misunderstanding. I feel she’s going out with somebody else. That means everything we’ve had has been fake! Why does it have to be like this? What’s wrong with me? What have I done wrong? I thought I was treating her so nicely, doing everything she wanted, giving her presents, taking her out, ready to give her all my attention… I feel frustrated.

***
Dear diary,
I haven’t seen Shirley for a very long time, and I wonder if I ever see her again. I’ve already been checking for her at those old card-parties where we used to meet. What a lovely time it was! She’s always in my thoughts, I still love her dearly, and if she ever decides to come back to me, I’ll be happy to welcome her back. Yes, love’s got no pride.

***
Dear diary,
You won’t believe what’s happened. Shirley came to the station yesterday. I understood that she had come not to end a telegram, but to see me. There was a brief conversation… Her sudden appearing and this talk made me remember all the things we used to do, and I think she noticed that I was thinking about this (no wonder, It was written in my face!). She’s so beautiful, seems like she gets more beautiful every day.
I understood that that situation was my last chance not to let her slip away. So I invited her to the theatre. When she said “no”, my heart sank. But then she invited me to come to her house.
I wonder if it is possible that she wants to start our relationship over again? I swear that if she does, I’ll forget all the pain she’s put me through. I have serious intentions, as I’ve always had, I want to marry her. And if she accepts my proposal, I’ll be the happiest human on Earth. I want to make all her dreams come true, there’s no thing I wouldn’t do for her happiness.
If only she says “yes”!

Retrieved by Catherine Tonkovid

MINNIE’S SECRET DIARY (Shriley's best friend)

3rd December
I’ve just come back from the party at Mabel Gove’s, which was amazing! There were lots of interesting people, spending time with whom is a great pleasure, and also a lot of new acquaintances started there. As for me, the most intriguing episodes of the evening were connected with Shirley. Barton wasn’t there, and she was actually free to do what she wanted; so she spent the whole party with a man who I don’t know, but who impressed me as well as her, and who seemed to be really charming. They danced together a lot, they were talking and laughing. Shirley was certainly flirting with him, and everyone noticed that. All that didn’t surprise me: there is nothing astonishing in Shirley’s behavior, I think. Everyone needs a change sometimes, especially if your boyfriend is Barton – that shy, silent, always-waiting-for-something man, who may be a trustworthy person, but who would make your life sort of boring… Anyhow, this evening Shirley spent with that stunning young man, and both seemed to be enjoying themselves.

5th December
It was yesterday that Shirley and Mabel went to the cinema and had a promenade together with Arthur… Actually, why was to take Mabel with them is unclear for me - except for their wish to make their relationship look “innocent”. Well, it’s no use. In our small city it’s hard to conceal such facts, so the gossip would spread anyway (as it is happening now). And as for Shirley, she’s being rather strange recently: her mood is constantly changing – now she is calm, the next minute she is laughing, after a moment she is sad, and you never know the reason for all that. Though I do not see any possible reasons but her “new love” Arthur, who takes over her mind and because of whom she became almost unbearable – she either turns the topic of our conversation to her new friend or starts telling me how boring and monotonous our life here in the country is. I don’t actually understand it very well, as she has never said such things before, and this is certainly Arthur’s influence.

25th February
Shirley&Arthur’s romance is going on and becomes the item on the agenda for most gossipers of the town (to whom I do not belong) more and more often. They don’t even try to conceal anything, and Shirley behaves as if Barton had never existed. She invites him to her place (which I don’t consider a proper way of behavior for the young girl), they spend much time together and after that she always tells me the same stuff about how wonderful that Arthur is and how he is unlike all the young men of our town. Going for a walk to Sparrows Point or Tregore Park with him, she doesn’t care even a little of how she looks in the eyes of her neighbors and friends… well, it’s up to her to decide, but I don’t actually approve of such relationship; especially because it all gives an impression of Arthur sort of using her – he never tries to make things for her convenience, though she always does so for him, and also he has never been that attentive to her, as if she needed him and he didn’t feel the same. I have never tried to persuade her to break up, though everything she is doing seems stranger and stranger to me. But when people are so crazy about someone, it’s no use trying to influence them… Well, we are going to see soon, but I personally don’t believe that this relationship will last long.

24th March
How silly it is of Shirley! Good old Barton was ready to marry her (and, I guess, he still is!), he wouldn’t bring her any problems, he needs her so much that he would make all her wishes come true, he cares for her, he is likely to become an ideal husband, - and she, what is she dreaming of? That Arthur, who is loved by so many girls, never needed Shirley, she is a kind of entertainment for him, and they have no future… And also, maybe it’s possible to understand Shirley, who is so young and romantic, but what are her parents thinking? They don’t dare to explain her how wrong she is, as Shirley’s used to doing what she wants and they are used to letting her everything she wants. It’s too obvious to everyone that Arthur has no serious intentions and plans for the future in connection to Shirley – he always comes to her when he wants without asking if it is appropriate for her… And also, she herself told me that when dreaming about the future, Arthur never mentions her name – which gives an impression of him constantly forgetting about her. Furthermore, all his plans are so shadowy and uncertain, not likely to be true, so changing! He is like a child in his mind, and you can’t trust him or to throw your lot with…

30th April
How strange the people are! Shirley, being once again misled by Arthur, made Barton come to her parents and sit there with them until the late evening. Poor Barton! He did nothing about it, he didn’t become angry and even called at the store to see her, gently complaining about her behavior, but she – she was annoyed with him (as it happens during almost half a year, I think), and eventually sent him away. Shirley, Shirley… What do you expect to get from this relationship? Don’t you see that he is interested in you not more than in any pretty young girl? You’ll certainly see it very soon, if not now, and this discovery would bring you a very bitter sense…but it won’t be possible to change anything.

23rd September
Well, it happened!.. Once Arthur didn’t come at the appointed time, then he sent Shirley letters with stocks of excuses telling how urgent his affairs out of the town were, and finally, she received the one where he told about his plan to leave for Java (which seems to be made up). So, they gradually broke up, and are not likely to meet again… Well, there is nothing to be astonished at, though Shirley feels a bit lost. What actually surprised me was that after a week or so, having received that very letter, she returned to poor Barton, who was certainly waiting for her - but even for whom she was also unexpected at that moment. Well, as for me, that was the only possible outcome of this affair…

Retrieved by Olga Ryabova
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SHIRLEY'S FATHER WRITES IN HIS JOURNAL

Today I’m not going to write about my own problems, because it seems to me, that my daughter Shirley has much more difficult ones. Now we do not talk heart-to-heart, as we used to only several months ago. Of course, my daughter is not a child anymore… But earlier she could talk with me even about her relationship with Barton. I’m afraid that it only suggests that she has fallen for someone else. And probably I even know him. Oh, what am I talking about? Of course, I know this flippant, idle fop named Arthur! At first, he seemed to me as a good guy. He has a brilliant sense of humor, he is always in a good mood, he is friendly and courteous. But surely I don’t know much about him. Why is my daughter suffering then? I believe that he won’t be a good match for her. He looks as if he came from another planet. He is so little settled in his mind! What does he have to offer to Shirley? Roaming round the world? Barton can be a better husband for her. He is faithful. He holds a firm place at an office on the railway station. I can easily imagine him on a porch, reading a paper and smoking, while his wife (my daughter!) is in the kitchen, peeling potatoes and washing lettuce. They could be a happy couple! But it’s too late… I haven’t seen Barton for ages. Arthur has already pulled the wool over her eyes. She has gone crazy over him. But it’s not right! Nobody in our neighborhood lives such a life. Moreover, Arthur disappeared as well… And Shirley is so sad, so dreary! Oh, my poor daughter!..

* * *
Well, I think I have some good news… Before dinner I was sitting on our veranda and reading a paper, when I saw Shirley coming from work. I asked her something like: “Back, daughter? Your mother is wondering if you would like steak or liver for dinner. Better tell her.” But she murmured something in reply and I noticed that she was upset. But later I saw her in the kitchen with her sleeves turned up… She was setting the table… And there was something in her eyes and behavior… Something which I can’t even explain… And I don’t know how, but suddenly I realized that she had made a choice… The right choice, I mean.

Retrieved by Kristina Veretennikova
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Friday,
Oh, what a wonderful day I've spent today. It was a very sunny day so I decided to cut the grass before dinner . Also I spent a nice evening smoking and thinking about Shirley. She is already that age when people get married. But she doesn’t want to get married now. I know she is a smart girl, she has that Barton Williams, a very nice and prosperous guy, but she completely doesn’t want to get married and to raise a family. Maybe she is not ready yet? Maybe she is afraid to lose her freedom?
I don’t know , I should ask her mother to talk to her about it. But I really like Barton: he is good-natured,well-meaning and reliable man, in some way he resembles me 30 years ago.

Next Friday
It was a rainy day today, so I didn’t cut the lawn. I've spent the day reading books and newspapers in front of fireplace. Everything's changed. I guess my little Shirleyhas broken up with Barton, because he doesn’t call on her anymore. And when one day I asked her about him, she just mumbled something and went away. So I figured our that she already had somebody else. And she must have totally fallen in love with that another man. Oh, poor Shirley, my feeling is it wont have a happy ending. I should talk about that with wife.
P.S. The liver that my wife prepared for the dinner, was very delicious…

Another Friday
It was a windy day so I didn’t want to cut the grass , but my sweetheart forced to do that.
Shirley seemed very depressed, unhappy and looked broken the whole week . Maybe she has problems at work? Maybe she is ill? Maybe that guy cheated on her?
But one thing worries me: she has eaten almost nothing for the whole week… Or maybe is pregnant?
I'm not sure.. but I think I should call the doctor anyway!!
Poor, little Shirley…

Another Friday
Oh, God, such a good day today. The sun is shinning!! My lawn looks awful, I mustn’t forget to cut the grass.
I've spoke to Shirley today. She looked pretty anxious, but this time I noticed something stange and unusual in the way she looked at me… I noticed some calmness in her eyes and a little bit of peace of mind.
Now, I'm recognizing my sweet little daughter! Finally she returned to us. Oh, how glad I am that everything is just fine with her!!! My wife is cooking liver, so it will be a wonderful dinner today, like in those previous days!!
P.S. We should invite Barton to have dinner with us someday.

Retrieved by Nataliya Vorobieva